I have just returned from another retreat in Glastonbury, but this time it was a women's retreat, celebrating and connecting with the Goddess energies. We were 11 goddessess staying the the beautiful little St Michael Retreat House, in the Chalice Well Gardens. A peaceful and beautiful space with the most wonderful and powerful energies. It was a joy to stay there.

It was organised by my dear friend Diana, whom I met on last year's writers retreat, who is exploring her feminine energy after coming out of a long yet loveless marriage; she is in an interesting transition phase of her own journey, as were we all are, especially those of us present at the retreat.

The house looked small from the outside, yet when we entered it's Tardis-like space, it was a sizeable house, full of beautiful antique furniture, comfortable beds and sofas, a huge kitchen and the biggest dining room table I think I've ever seen. We each took it in turn, in pairs to prepare and serve the meals; which we then shared around this huge table. It was a joyful experience.

The retreat houses are vegetarian, plus the majority of the women were all excluding a variety of foods from the diets for health reasons, so cooking was an interesting and challenging experience - yet all the meals were healthful, delicious and a feast for the eyes, soul and stomachs!

We took part in 'circles' in the meeting room adjoining our retreat house, the door into this space was through the dining room. It was a space filled with lovely cushions to sit and recline on, and we spent many hours in there taking part in a variety of activities.

We participated in Goddess ceremonies around the Chalice Well head, late one night by candle light. It was such a peaceful and profound experience, the gentle candle light with it's soft aura and glow, silence apart from a few women quietly chanting and singing; it felt so sacred.

We performed a wonderful ceremony at the healing waters pool very early one morning, before the gardens opened to the public, followed by Yoga on the grass under the sacred hawthorne trees, barefoot and connecting fully with Mother Earth.

Several women wept openly for much of the weekend, as they healed and released past stuff that came up for them. But with a group of such supportive and loving women, everyone received support and the nurturing they so needed and deserved.

It felt as though we were living in a parallel universe, completely separate from the rest of the world, cocooned in a womb-like environment which was so safe. It was an amazing time!

On the Saturday, Su and I went to the local supermarket to purchase ingredients for the meal we were due to cook Sunday evening. It felt so alien to be in there and we couldn't wait to leave! We then went into the town and visited the rather large and very impressive health food store, which felt totally comfortable and not in the least bit alien. 

One special goddess, Amber, a working shaman, did a group shamanic healing for us, which was a wonderful experience. She used her drumming, rattling and her voice. I'm not sure how long it lasted for, as well all went very deep during this session, which was very profound; we are all grateful to her for this offering. At times it felt like the drumming was coming from a different place in the room to her voice - which of course, wasn't possible! I felt all sorts of things going on in my chakras, but also experienced some 'releasing' in a very physical way. I overheard a number of the women alluding to childhood pain and emotional wounds, so I was asked by Diana to open one evening circle by reading and sharing a short story that I'd written the previous weekend, about healing childhood traumas.

Being back in the 'real world' is feeling quite a challenge, I am very tired and lacking in motivation to unpack my case; but it will all get done in time; I am , after all, processing lots of 'stuff', as we all are. This too shall pass. 

The Little St. Michael Retreat House

This years sacred silence on retreat was a very different experience. Friday night, in total silence, I sat in the grounds of the beautiful Abbey House and wrote. I had planned to stay in touch with my shadow side and write about it, but nothing came up, the anger seemed to have melted away; my dark tale 'The Woman in the red shoes' seemed to have done it's job; I had found a new writing voice that enabled me to express my anger in a creative way. So I wrote page after page about not knowing what to write about!

Then I remembered, that I had a picture on my phone of an image that had attracted me earlier in the day. A lovely shot of a mother and daughter sitting in a meadow, held in a tender embrace. So I wrote about that!

I just sat there in the ground with the gently fading light, thoroughly enjoying the silence, the warmth, the bees buzzing and the majestic trees. This tale is very much a 'medicine' story, but also has a twist at the end. I'd always wanted to be able to write stories with a twist and had no idea how to craft them; but this one just flowed with ease once my juicy pen met the thirsty paper.

Saturday morning, the others rose at 4am in order to take a medicine walk up the Tor, meditate and write up there. I couldn't go with them as I can no longer climb the Tor sadly, so I took my own medicine walk in the grounds. Jackee had provided us with instructions as to how to do our medicine walks, and it was an amazing experience.

In total silence and solitude, I slowly and gently asked Mother Nature 'how can my writing help myself and other to heal?'

I visited the bee hives and watched the sleepy bees emerging from the hives to begin their days work, I noticed that each area of the grounds had it's own aroma, which was different at different times of day. I felt that different trees had a different energy - some were definitely a male energy; others had a distinctly female energy. I left an offering with a female oak that I'd connected with the day before, then I found the badger set, belonging to brother badger who'd shown himself to us the night before. I'd love to think that his medicine of courage resides in this special place.

This years silence was so different; it felt comfortable, safe, like a soft furry blanket wrapping itself around me and left me with a deep feeling of bliss and joy. I could easily have remained within it forever.

In that space, it felt as though I was residing in a parallel world, separate from the rest of the world with it's constant noise and business; as though I was in another dimension. And I wasn't sure that I wanted to return! To be in a space where I could reconnect with my self, my writing self was valuable and wonderful; I wrote so much. I found a number of different writing voices that I didn't know I had; an anthology of short medicine stories has begun!

And the answer to my medicine walk question? 'Your writing is medicine for the soul.'

Blessed be

.I'm staying at The Abbey House in Glastonbury, a truly beautiful retreat House with a wonderful energy. The house is huge, the grounds rambling with lovely hidden spaces and walkways to explore; majestic trees everywhere.

Last night, quite late, the group were sitting in the garden under some trees setting our values and intentions for the weekend. Jackee saw a badger running across the lawn we entered into a discussion about the medicine and symbolism of brother badger.  Jackee explained that badger has the medicine of courage, from the French ceour age, meaning of the heart. This was especially pertinent, as the group member who'd been speaking her intention had expressed  the need to be more courageous in her writing.

We went on to talk about badger being both black and white, representing duality ; both the light and dark aspects of ourselves.

This really got me thinking, I've been aware for a few days that I have anger rising in me' I know where it belongs, who it really belongs with, but am very uncomfortable with it.

I spoke to Jackee privately, I guess I was afraid that my anger could come out badly and spoil the weekend for the others. Jackee reminded me of the importance of writing my morning pages, a way of dumping the feelings so that they don't get in the way of my creativity. She also reminded me that anger can be a positive force for change and transformation.

Once in bed I reflected more on this and realized that I've always feared anger and seen it as very destructive. Hence the block.

This morning very interestingly enough, we talked again about the shadow side of our natures, she shared some pertinent quotes with us, then got us engaged in writing, using pictures as a prompt.

I took my selected pictures, a beanbag and my writing materials into the garden, all the time ideas for this piece forming in my head.

When I put my pen to the paper, what flowed was something quite different, and the ending was certainly very different to anything I've written before. To me, the ending is dark, revealing the shadow side, yet I felt quite okay with it quite at peace in fact.

I've since been writing more, reflecting on what it means for me to be in touch with this shadow side of myself, to be expressing some very deep and primal feelings, that I'd previously feared; feared because I was afraid they'd overwhelm me, consume me alive like some monster from the deep.

But by revisiting those dark places, I am bringing them into the light and embracing them. I'm giving it a voice that it didn't have before, and in doing so, am releasing in a safe and creative way that won't harm anyone.

For when we revisit the darkness of the past, we reclaim the power that we left there.

Maybe I'll pen more short stories in time, and publish them as a collection. So continues my healing journey.

And the title of this short story? 'The woman in the red shoes'.

Tomorrow I'm heading to Glastonbury for a four day writers retreat; led by Jackee Holder whose retreat I went on last year when I finally gave birth to the book I'm writing.

I've been using crystals on a personal basis for more years than I care to remember, and have been stocking crystals for around 4 years now. in fact, I am the only stockist of crystals in West Oxfordshire! I just love them!

I have crystals in every room of my flat, I love their energy and of course, they all have a different purpose in my life. I like to use them for healing and they are useful in helping you to connect with the angels and Archangels, especially if you are new to joining your energy with that of the angels in meditation.

By far one of the most commonly known and popular crystals is Clear Quartz. It has wonderful properties but can also be used to enhance and amplify the energy of any other crystals that you are using. It is reputed to be a healer of negativity, so if you are feeling negative wear one or carry one with you, or sleep with it under your pillow. If you work in a negative, stressy environment, have some discreetly on your desk to help you throughout the working day. It is also a very good crystal to use when meditating.

Use the Clear Quartz to help you align your energies with Archangel Raziel, whose name means 'Secret of God' because he works so closely with Source (Creator) that he knows all of the secrets of the Universe and how it operates. He can help you to understand esoteric material, and open you up to higher levels of psychic abilities; increasing your ability to see, hear, know and feel Divine Guidance. Archangel Raziel can also help you with your manifestation.

Archangel Raziel also helps you to work with sacred geometry, so if you have invoked him you may start to notice geometric signs and symbols in your physical and psychic vision. He is an alchemist within the realms of the Archangels and will help you to understand ideas that would defy normal logic. Call on him to help you to turn your ideas into 'gold'!

Archangel Raziel's aura contains all the colours of the rainbow, and his energy aligns with clear quartz crystals. Working with, holding or wearing clear quartz will magnify your clairvoyance (ensure you practice your protection rituals before opening up) and help you to feel closer to him. 

Please take a look at my Crystals page to learn more, and I'll blog more about crystals in the future.

Please remember to cleanse and charge your crystals when new, and cleanse then on a regular basis when used. If you'd like more information on how to do this, please do contact me.

Many blessings