Yes, they are continuing, for myself and others. .In my last blog entry, I wrote about my own transition and the importance of going with the flow. Today, I will tell you about my mother's transition and how she is doing the opposite and making her own life much harder.
My mother is 78 years old, has many serious health problems and also has dementia. I have written some months ago about the difficulties we as a family face in caring for someone with this oh so cruel disease. She has lived alone since the sad passing of my step father, nearly six years ago, and has really deteriorated this year. I will add at this point that I and my mother are very different people. I am going with the flow, and allowing the Universe to take me where it will; she, on the other hand, has always been stubborn and resisted so much that could have helped her. I will go as far as to say, that she will regularly 'cut off her nose, despite her face'!
She has been told by a consultant that she has dementia, which was a heart breakingly difficult appointment as I am sure you can imagine; she crumpled and shrank before our eyes. Quite understandably, she refused to believe it for long enough, but my brother and I have steadfastly drip fed the information and facts to her and some days, she does seem to accept the reality. What she doesn't accept though, is that she needs professional care now; but sadly, she will have to have it.
Two weeks ago, I was sitting at my dining room table in my dressing gown, working on a couple of chapters of the book I'm writing, completely lost in my writing world and fully present in the moment.
I was ripped from the nurturing womb of this creative space by the phone ringing. It was mum's health centre. Someone had contacted them as they were concerned that at 11 am, all the curtains were still closed and she wasn't answering the phone or door bell.
Throwing a fleece on over my dressing gown, I got there as fast as I could, to find her on the bedroom floor, where she'd been for 3 hours after blacking out. As she is a very large and heavy woman and I have a chronic back problem, so I called the paramedics out to lift her. After thoroughly checking her over, they decided that this time, she had to go into hospital and be checked by doctors. Of course, she was very resistant to this quite understandably, but I remained firm and resolute - she had to been seen and the reasons for the blackout investigated. She really isn't safe to be living alone without care now.
To cut a very long and traumatic story short, the hospital decided that she has had to remain in until a full care package is in place.. I can rest in the knowledge that she is safe, cared for and being well fed. Yes she is bored and fed up and is desperate to get out of there, but it is out of my hands.
Yes it has been an exhausting and traumatic two weeks, but I have been able to remain detached with love from the dramas, which has enabled me to see the bigger picture, and make the decisions which ultimately, will be in her best interests for the long term. And there are spiritual lessons within this situation for everyone concerned.
For me, it has confirmed the importance of 'going with the flow'; and my ability to cope with everything that has been demanded of me without folding in myself, is testament to how far I have come on my healing and spiritual journey.
For mum, I am not so sure that she is learning, sadly, but I hope that she can reach a point of acceptance, that from now on, she will have to have a regular cleaner in, plus four carers visits each day. It's so sad to see this once feisty and fiercely independent woman reduced to this. If she could only learn to go with the flow, rather than fight everything, life would be so much easier for her, and she would benefit in the long term.
So, although it has been an exhausting and difficult time., reflecting back I can see that everything has happened in perfect, Divine timing, and for a reason. The blackout has meant that she is safe and cared for, that a full care package will be put in place; in a sense, it had to happen this way. Once home and with the care in place, I will be able to stand back more and get back to a place of taking great care of myself, and sorting out my own post operative care.
As we move more into the place of the Divine Feminine with the shifts brought about by 2012, which is reflective, receptive and nurturing, it continues with the theme of learning to receive as well a to give. Post operatively I will need a huge amount of care and support, as there is very little I will be able to do for myself, for a considerable period of time. Although I have always been very independent, it is a lesson I am learning as I have explained in previous blog posts. So I will relax, gratefully accept the nurturing and care so lovingly offered by family and friends; I will remain going with the flow and learn from the experience.
For every experience contains lessons.
Blessed be xx
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