Yes, they are continuing, for myself and others. .In my last blog entry, I wrote about my own transition and the importance of going with the flow. Today, I will tell you about my mother's transition and how she is doing the opposite and making her own life much harder.
My mother is 78 years old, has many serious health problems and also has dementia. I have written some months ago about the difficulties we as a family face in caring for someone with this oh so cruel disease. She has lived alone since the sad passing of my step father, nearly six years ago, and has really deteriorated this year. I will add at this point that I and my mother are very different people. I am going with the flow, and allowing the Universe to take me where it will; she, on the other hand, has always been stubborn and resisted so much that could have helped her. I will go as far as to say, that she will regularly 'cut off her nose, despite her face'!
She has been told by a consultant that she has dementia, which was a heart breakingly difficult appointment as I am sure you can imagine; she crumpled and shrank before our eyes. Quite understandably, she refused to believe it for long enough, but my brother and I have steadfastly drip fed the information and facts to her and some days, she does seem to accept the reality. What she doesn't accept though, is that she needs professional care now; but sadly, she will have to have it.
Two weeks ago, I was sitting at my dining room table in my dressing gown, working on a couple of chapters of the book I'm writing, completely lost in my writing world and fully present in the moment.
I was ripped from the nurturing womb of this creative space by the phone ringing. It was mum's health centre. Someone had contacted them as they were concerned that at 11 am, all the curtains were still closed and she wasn't answering the phone or door bell.
Throwing a fleece on over my dressing gown, I got there as fast as I could, to find her on the bedroom floor, where she'd been for 3 hours after blacking out. As she is a very large and heavy woman and I have a chronic back problem, so I called the paramedics out to lift her. After thoroughly checking her over, they decided that this time, she had to go into hospital and be checked by doctors. Of course, she was very resistant to this quite understandably, but I remained firm and resolute - she had to been seen and the reasons for the blackout investigated. She really isn't safe to be living alone without care now.
To cut a very long and traumatic story short, the hospital decided that she has had to remain in until a full care package is in place.. I can rest in the knowledge that she is safe, cared for and being well fed. Yes she is bored and fed up and is desperate to get out of there, but it is out of my hands.
Yes it has been an exhausting and traumatic two weeks, but I have been able to remain detached with love from the dramas, which has enabled me to see the bigger picture, and make the decisions which ultimately, will be in her best interests for the long term. And there are spiritual lessons within this situation for everyone concerned.
For me, it has confirmed the importance of 'going with the flow'; and my ability to cope with everything that has been demanded of me without folding in myself, is testament to how far I have come on my healing and spiritual journey.
For mum, I am not so sure that she is learning, sadly, but I hope that she can reach a point of acceptance, that from now on, she will have to have a regular cleaner in, plus four carers visits each day. It's so sad to see this once feisty and fiercely independent woman reduced to this. If she could only learn to go with the flow, rather than fight everything, life would be so much easier for her, and she would benefit in the long term.
So, although it has been an exhausting and difficult time., reflecting back I can see that everything has happened in perfect, Divine timing, and for a reason. The blackout has meant that she is safe and cared for, that a full care package will be put in place; in a sense, it had to happen this way. Once home and with the care in place, I will be able to stand back more and get back to a place of taking great care of myself, and sorting out my own post operative care.
As we move more into the place of the Divine Feminine with the shifts brought about by 2012, which is reflective, receptive and nurturing, it continues with the theme of learning to receive as well a to give. Post operatively I will need a huge amount of care and support, as there is very little I will be able to do for myself, for a considerable period of time. Although I have always been very independent, it is a lesson I am learning as I have explained in previous blog posts. So I will relax, gratefully accept the nurturing and care so lovingly offered by family and friends; I will remain going with the flow and learn from the experience.
For every experience contains lessons.
Blessed be xx
To some extent, all of us who are on a spiritual path and working towards greater enlightenment are in a transition phase. It's been an interesting week following my last blog entry; I read on Face Book that my business mentor (a very spiritual man) is in hospital being treated for a lung infection and will undergo surgery on Monday. Bless him, I read with interest the journey that he is taking, 'enjoying the ride' as he put it, allowing himself to helpless. The latter is not easy as it requires us to be vulnerable which is never easy; for it takes courage. This I can understand completely.
But it does seem to be a part of the transition phase that so many of us are facing at the moment. Completely giving in, taking that deep, cleansing breath and allowing ourselves to be helpless and vulnerable, going with the flow and surrendering to the Universal flow of energy. It not only takes courage, but also trust. It requires us to receive instead of always giving.
A number of us are also experiencing extreme tiredness and weariness, regardless of how much sleep and / or rest we are getting. I've talked about this at length with others and we've been wondering what's going on. We're all struggling to 'get through the day', to do anything productive or meaningful, but then a blog comment from a lovely lady in Chicago reminded me of the shifts in energy that were coming in during 2012, and seem to be continuing. She wrote "
Many enlightened people are leaving the old ways of their bodies and putting on a new cloak, a new look, a new energy to their physical body - more in tune with their inner spirit. "
She is so right, and I went back and reread some information that I'd been given a long time go about the 2012 changes, I guess we'd all hoped that it would all be done and dusted during 2012, but of course it couldn't be - the planetary and personal transitions and changes are far too great. 2012 was just the beginning, and what an intense year that was!
And I quote some extracts from what I reread for those of us in this phase:
"Days of extreme fatigue. Your body is losing density and going through intense restructuring."
"You don't feel like doing anything. You are in a rest period, 'rebooting'. Your body knows what it needs. In addition, when you begin reaching the Higher Realms, 'doing' and 'making things happen' becomes obsolete as the New Energies support the feminine of basking, receiving, creating, self-care and nurturing. Ask the Universe to 'bring' you what you want while you enjoy yourself and have fun."
I could go on, but these are the passages that really stood out for me and are relevant at this precise moment in time. I sense that this will continue for us all, and I hope that those of you who are also working through these deep inner changes, are in a space where you can respond well to what your mind, body and spirit need. I sense that 2014 will be a pivotal year and everything will gather momentum and suddenly 'take off'! Guess we'd better fasten the safety belts and see where the next year takes us!
Are you experiencing the extreme fatigue and need to rest? How are you able to manage this phase of your journey?
Many blessings xx
I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately, examining a life worth living and wondering where the Universe will take me next. The Universe, spirit guides and Angels will take me forward, that I know for sure, so I Trust that life will unfold before me. I had a reading last weekend,from a very nice guy at a psychic event that I visited. I have to say, he was very accurate and we're hoping that he'll come and work at next years Witney psychic fayres.
I'm still in my transition phase, still getting to grips with the lessons I came to this lifetime to learn; they are ongoing, but I am getting there. I am following my intuition, going with the flow in all areas of my life, and believe you me, life is easier that way. Life flows in a way it never did before, as I allow the guidance of my beloved spirit guides and Angels to lead me through.
I recently made the very difficult decision to go ahead with spinal surgery, an option that I had been determined to avoid at all costs. But, recent events have shown me that this is the sensible way forward. I have discussed it thoroughly with others who've undergone similar surgery, friends who've witnessed the extreme pain that I endure together with the disability that makes life harder. I've also discussed it with the consultants registrar, who will be present during the operation and my GP, who has shown me so much support and care. But it's interesting what I've learnt from this experience. Going with the flow is just one lesson, but also to receive as well as to give; not an easy one I can assure you!
I have always been fiercely independent, and to be in a space where I have to ask for help has been tough. But I am grateful and humbled by the willingness and love of others as they help me so willingly in all sorts of ways. Some friends and family have helped out by lifting or carrying things that I cannot, I've been taken shopping when my body has prevented me from doing it alone; I've been brought hot meals when I've been unable to cook for myself; and taken to nerve wracking hospital appointments so that I had emotional support.
One of the things that held me back from making the decision, was the fear of being helpless during a long post operative recovery period; needing to be dependent on others; the fear of my needs not being met. This harks back to childhood, nay babyhood when my needs weren't adequately met; but now the Universe is offering me the opportunity to learn that I can be helpless and vulnerable and that this time, my needs will be met. In learning to receive as well as give, I will also be helping those that help me, for my lessons do not happen in isolation; they offer the chance to others to learn as well. This way the energy flows in all directions, as one of the Universal laws is that there must always be an exchange of energy.
Although I had made the decision a couple of weeks ago, I was still under trouble about it and considering all of the healing I've received, have been wondering why my back hadn't improved enough for me to avoid taking this step. Well, during the reading last weekend, the medium instantly picked up on the fact that I've been in pain for years, but went onto explain that all the healing has been preparing my body to undergo the procedure. He also said that I will emerge from my resting phase, this transition period in the spring and then the brakes will be off! Interesting thing is, at the moment it looks like the surgery will take place in December; so spring would be the time when I am able to get back to normal activities again, and hopefully in much less pain. My spine will never be 100% again and I accept that, but perhaps there's a reason for this that I have yet to see. But...... following the reading, (and yes, even I need guidance and reassurance at times!), I am now at peace with decision that I have made.
Do you follow and trust your intuition? Tell me how it's helped you.
I write in order to connect with the deeper parts of me that otherwise might remain hidden from view; even from myself. It is a powerful yet gentle way in which I give myself the precious gift of time to truly listen to me. The voice that reveals itself in the special space of silence and solitude that I award myself on a regular basis. My heart and soul rejoices when I do this, weeps when I do not. Sometimes it is for release and healing, other times, for dissection and exploration.
I connect with memories, thoughts, feelings and emotions, allowing myself to unite with each and every one as they arise from the depths of the well, which is me.
When I write in my journals, I can immerse myself in the fathomless depths of the pages that open up before me. A landscape that is waiting to be painted, but pens and words are my brushes and pictures. I began with a blank book, now I am actively filling that tome with my voice. It liberates me as no one else will see my journals; I write for my own eyes only so I have the freedom and gift to be completely honest.
Then I also write because I want to be published. And in doing so, I will leave a part of my heart and soul here on the earth plain, for the rest of the world to engage with. I will achieve immortality through my words and musings, my many writing voices that have evolved, spiralling sentences that weave in and out of the many pages. Writing liberates and validates me.
It has allowed me to safely analyse and work with my shadow side and give her expression. I sometimes release my ‘inner bitch’ and she enunciates that which dare not speak its name in real life. My pen transmutes into a rapier sword, cutting into the heart of the villain, releasing the protagonist from her shackles.
But not all of my writing is like this. Some of my short stories are ‘medicine stories’, sacred offerings to others on the altar of life’s tumultuous journey through the landscape of the soul. They become a balm for the soul; both my soul and I hope for other souls too.
They offer hope; the hope that others too can survive life events that threaten to overwhelm the individual and leave them with a detailed map of how to negotiate their way through the labyrinth, avoiding the Minotaur that lurks at the dark and murky centre. A signpost that can and will direct the wandering seeker towards the promised land of inner strength and deep knowing that they too, can survive. And will survive. The sun will shine again and the sky will be blue and cloudless, if we just give ourselves the gift of time to stop and be who we truly are.
Some stories are a celebration of rites of passage, especially the latter rites of passage that takes us women into the crone phase of our lives. It is not something to be feared, even in a western society that values youth, appearance and materialism above experience and wisdom.
My writing says ‘Be who you are and glorify that. For you are unique and show yourself to the world, unashamedly.’ Celebrate your power and uniqueness, be the Mad Woman who dances on the moors, and join me in my flowing skirts and dance!
This is a piece that I was invited to write as a 'guest blog', and will be published shortly.
Self employed Angel Card Reader, professional writer, previously worked as Angelic healer and stress consultant, former local government officer. Lived in Witney, West Oxfordshire for 30+ years, 3 grown up children, 4 grandchildren. On my spiritual path and at times it's hard but always worth it!